Taking Out the Trash
At some point we noticed that mom had started hoarding papers, magazines, newspapers and mail. Her rooms was filled with stacks and stacks of papers everywhere -coffee tables, chairs, and boxes upon boxes with mixed up contents. I imagine that whenever she discovered something interesting she put it on a pile to save. She printed…
The Quietest Dining Room
Whenever I visit my mom at the Memory Care facility, I find her sitting in her wheelchair in the dining room. Usually she is just sitting quietly doing nothing like the other silent residents scattered across the tables. Most of the ten or so residents in her Memory Care congregate in the dining room all…
The Iron Maiden
Mom has had advanced dementia for the past two years (stage 6), and last year fell three times, resulting in a broken arm, a broken pelvic bone, and broken hip. The hip fracture required surgery and a rod through her thigh. We thought that the end was near, and hospice agreed. Family flew in to…
Visiting Mom
Mom is always glad to see me when I visit, and her eyes light up in recognition when I enter main room. I announce myself, and she rolls her eyes and says, “I know who you are Karen.” Sometimes she confuses my name with my other sisters, but she always remembers I am her daughter.…
Underwear Wars
As Mom’s dementia progressed, many things stopped making sense to her. One of the oddest dilemmas was when she would go through her underwear drawers and lay out all her panties on her bed. She would try and match them up and then become confused when she noticed some looked different. She would then decide…
Revised Expectations
Mom’s been living in a Memory Care facility for over five years, and after much squawking, we have lowered our expectations for her care when we are not around. Complaining to the administrators, and constantly reminding caregivers has produced little change. Luckily, most of the people who work there seem to genuinely care about the…
The Trouble with Disposable Underwear
Recently, during our family text, we mentioned to each other that Mom was using the bathroom frequently, and that she would make a point of always going before we would venture out into the world. We also noticed that her laundry basket rarely had used underwear included. Something was amiss, and she kyboshed any attempts…
Helpful Resources
The Women’s Alzheimer’s Movement – run by Maria Shriver Website filled with helpful information and advice; research, clinical trials, and advocacy Every 65 seconds, a new brain develops Alzheimer’s. Two thirds of them belong to women, and no one knows why that is. A woman in her 60s is twice as likely to develop Alzheimer’s…
Short Staffed
One of the Certified Nursing Assistants (CNA) at Mom’s Memory Care comes over, sits next to me, and starts talking. “I want you to know that we are still short staffed. This morning I had to give your mother a shower and she had a fit. She wanted a bath, but I didn’t have time…
Covid Lockdown
I was teaching 7th grade in March 2020, when Covid-19 hit. It happened so suddenly that on Monday our Superintendent was making jokes about this mysterious virus, and on Friday we shut down indefinitely. It was a bewildering and chaotic time, and we all seemed to believe that school would only be closed for a…
Something went wrong. Please refresh the page and/or try again.
Follow My Blog
Get new content delivered directly to your inbox.
Reckoning With Alzheimer's 