Whenever I visit my mom at the Memory Care facility, I find her sitting in her wheelchair in the dining room. Usually she is just sitting quietly doing nothing like the other silent residents scattered across the tables. Most of the ten or so residents in her Memory Care congregate in the dining room all day long. They have lost the ability to generate any activity or conversation by themselves, so they naturally gravitate to where the action is. Or maybe they feel safer together rather than alone in their bedrooms. Plus, meal time is a reliable and pleasurable event.
The dining room is located by the front entrance and the nursing station, so visitors and workers come and go. Most of the time, it’s eerily quiet in the dining room. Some residents sleep in their chairs, some stare into space, or look sedately out the window. No one speaks. Many perk up when someone new enters, grateful for the distraction and hopeful for interaction. If someone walking by says hello, residents respond cheerfully with a smile or greeting, but then lapse back into silence if not pressed into more conversation.
Whenever I visit, I find this situation disturbing, so I offer coloring sheets and markers or a magazine to the people sitting stoically at their tables. Most decline sweetly. The facility used to have a Social Director who occasionally organized Bingo and other activities, but I haven’t seen many entertainment opportunities in recent years. When I visit with my mom she is always happy to see me and prefers to remain in the dining room. She enjoys my company, but has difficulty carrying on a conversation, so for most of the visit we sit quietly together and color.
Reckoning With Alzheimer's 